Untitled TDI Spy Parody
by Parody-lover
Summary: Read the title. Yes, I am lazy, I admit it. Originally under Misc. Cartoons
1. In The Beginning

Yeah! New story! Total Drama Mansion has hit a bit of a rut so I've decided to start this story for now. Some parts of the plot are based on the American Dad episode Tearjerker.

I am also accepting ideas for an actual title!

Disclaimer: You know what goes here.

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In The Beginning

Agent 296 ran as a hail storm of bullets pelted down at him. Suddenly, he wished that he hadn't agree to a mission that takes place in the jungles of the Southern Tropics and that his weight was not the same as his agent number. Running past vegetation almost as big as him, he darted through the trees; the only sound audible was his gasping for air and distant jeep engines that were getting louder and louder. In a desperate last attempt, he fiddled with his watch, which contrasted drastically with his tore and dirty clothes. Surprisingly, he started to talk with it.

"Come in HQ, please, do you hear me? Urgent news about suspicious activities at Maclean's island resort. Much worse! Hello?" But it was no use: something was blocking the signal and Agent 296 was out of running space. He skidded to a halt as he stared down a steep cliff, a most likely lethal drop to a churning river. He turned as he heard the screech of tires.

"The buck stops here, fatso," a large and moustached man said as he got down from the back of a jeep, where a mounted machine gun was placed, "they say too much knowledge is a dangerous thing, and frankly, they're right." He took out a small pistol from his belt. Agent 296's eyes darted from the man, to the other lackeys (who were also armed) and down back to the watery grave below.

"Any last words?"

Weighing his options he had made up his mind. In one swift motion, he took the plunge, the last dive he would ever make in his life.

Geoff was just like any ordinary person, that is, if ordinary people were actually secret agents working for the International Bureau of Espionage (IBE.) The IBE was a Special Forces group that protected international security from all those nut jobs out there and kept the peace.

It was a calm morning, the sky was clear and birds were singing their merry song as Geoff walked into the official headquarters of the IBE's Canadian sector, aptly named Sector C. Despite its secretive work ethics the building was just like any government building, desk jockeys running around, and people chatting with each other on the hottest office gossip. However there are some differences, like the fact that the gossip usually revolved around who blew up this or who brutally killed what evil villain and such. Of course the secret underground building that housed the agents and scientists sets it apart from other companies too.

On any other day, Geoff would usually hang around mahogany offices and cubicles, occasionally chatting, but today he was a man on a mission. As he turned the corner, nearly bumping into someone doing a balancing act with huge files, he looked down on his pager which was beeping again. It had the same message that he'd been receiving all morning: RPRT/T/STAT, to most people it was nonsense but to trained agents it was one of the easiest to decode codes ever. _Alright, I'm reporting to T right now_, he thought, surprised to see how impatient T was getting and even at the fact he wanted to see him. After a string of failures, Geoff was almost certain that he would've been fired, but luckily that had not happened.

Finally, he entered an impressive looking office where a lone secretary was typing at her desk.

"Morning Beth! How's life?"

Beth looked up from her paperwork, "Ah, Agent 005, good to see you've finally arrived. H was worried you've forgotten how to read code." H was the leading scientist at the Branch H weaponry department of the IBE. Coincidentally, H's real name was Harold; although he prefers to be called H (he thinks it adds an air of mystery.)

"Oh, is he in there with T too?" T or Trent was the head honcho at Sector C, although he was usually pretty laid back, which may explain why Geoff still had his IBE license.

"Yep, so come on we can't waste time." Beth popped open a bust of William Shakespeare and secretly typed in a code, along with her finger print scan. Suddenly the full scale picture of T that was hanging on the wall swung open, revealing an elevator shaft. They both climbed in and started going down as the picture swung shut again.

"Agent 005 is here sir," Beth said into an intercom as she ushered Geoff off the elevator, since she was just a secretary (or known at IBE: a desk jockey) she had limited access to some places. Geoff walked quickly down the metallic modern stairs to the glass floored lab. With its futuristic laboratory look, it was a complete opposite to the old-fashioned styles of up top. He passed by a few scientists that were off in their own little experiments and into another room, where T and H were currently seated.

"Agent 005 reporting for duty sir!"

"Calm down Geoff, no need to always follow the protocol." T gestured to a chair placed beside H's and Geoff took that as a cue to sit down. He continued, "I suppose you're wondering about the urgency of the meeting?"

Geoff nodded.

"Well, the mission we're about to give you is of the utmost importance, and H and I are still a little sketchy on giving it to you, after what happened the last time..."

"I already said sorry to the Queen of England! Besides, she didn't seem so ticked."

"Good thing too or else Sector C would be in big trouble!" piped in Harold.

"Let's focus on the task at hand people! Geoff, the board of directors and I have decided to give you one more chance to show us what you've got. Under normal circumstances we would've given you a much more, um, simpler mission but most of our higher operatives are busy, or taking those darn government sanctioned vacations..." T spoke again, "Now Geoff, this mission is extremely important so we'll be giving you a few partners."

Geoff rose to his feet, "Partners? But sir I'm a spy, spies do not have partners."

"Now they do, it's for the safety of the world."

"In other words, we're giving you baby sitters to make sure you don't blow up the Panama Canal or something like that," Harold said, friendliness not being his most strongest talent right now.

T gave H a look that said be quiet, "It's just two specialists that will help you with things you might need more help at. Let me introduce you to Cody, the world's brightest computer guy since Bill Gates," he pointed towards the door, where the brown haired computer whiz was standing. Strapped onto his belt were millions of wires which were connected to his wristwatch and his sunglasses, which was currently resting on his head.

"Hey there," he walked towards Geoff, extending a hand out for a good shake, "you must be Agent 005, I've heard..." he paused trying to find a word to correctly but nicely describe Geoff's work habits ... he couldn't, "...things about you. I look forward to working with you!"

"Thanks, man," Geoff responded, glad that he wasn't stuck with complete snobs for partners.

"As well we have Duncan, his record is a bit shady, but he's been trained in advanced arsenal technologies and is a great fighter."

"Whatever, I'm only doing this so I don't get my butt in jail," Duncan came in and plopped himself down on a chair, giving Geoff and Cody a nod of acknowledgement, "so, when do we get to shoot some bad guys and jump off exploding buildings?"

"Just follow me," grunted H, getting straight to the point. He led the group to another room, although this time the room was already occupied by a few people in white coats. H plopped himself down on a chair a typed into a computer, which was connected to a giant screen that would've put most theatres to shame.

"About a few months ago, special forces from different countries have reported some strange things happening to their respective country's ambassadors and political leaders, Mr. DuPont, the ambassador of France, was an avid lemonade lover, but recently he been so terrified of the stuff that even if he has any he starts to go crazy. Coincidently, all political figures who have been acting strangely had recently come back from an all-inclusive spa and resort catering specially to political leaders. We sent Agent 296 to the Southern Tropics to investigate on it. He was never heard from again. As well, just a few weeks ago, we gave a mission to one of Sector C's finest agents," H started while typing into the main frame computer, "Agent 009." On the screen, Agent 009's file popped up with all her records and a picture of the blond haired beauty whose real name, according to the file, was Bridgette.

If Geoff had been drinking anything at that moment he would have done a spit take. He had known Bridgette since the days of the Academy, not intimately, although he would have liked to have. Only a handful of girls actually make it all the way through, due to the vast amount of effort and endurance needed, however Agent 009 was a pro's pro, graduating with top honours. She had the skills and the personality and, Geoff thought, her looks must help too. He snapped out of his train of thoughts when T continued speaking.

"Unfortunately, while spying on her target, she was captured and we've never heard from her since."

"Who was she spying on?" asked Cody.

H typed in something else into the computer and up came another file, this time from the criminal records.

"Chris Maclean, the political resort owner," T introduced, "I'm sure you've all heard of him?"

"Yeah, he's that diamond mogul that knows a lot of high powered people including most of the heads of government. The bureau's been suspicious of him for, like, ever but we've never been able to pin anything big on him," Geoff said.

"Right, but now we're convinced his planning some dastardly plot to rule the world."

"Uh, why?" asked Duncan.

T, anticipating the question for a long time, nodded to H who pulled up two files, one whose picture was of a very mean looking man and looked liked a stereotypical evil camp chef and the other of a much younger man, with a red and green polo shirt and an orange tuque covering his brown hair (note: as many of you have guessed, the first one is of Chef, the second person is actually the pizza guy you see on the camping and trust episodes.)

"Hatchet and Eddy, two of the world's most well-known petty crooks were released from jail a few years back and is now working for Maclean. Also working with him is suspected arms dealer Noah." His file appeared next, "a few days ago when we caught Noah giving shotguns to the mob he told us that Maclean was planning something. He claimed that he didn't know what and wouldn't say any more though."

"So, you want us to find out what's going on, and stop whatever is going on," Duncan remarked, already knowing where this was going.

"And rescue Agent 009, assuming she didn't end up like Agent 296 of course," H said, "now let's talk about your weapons and transportation..."

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This is just the beginning, so bear with me for now. Can anyone guess who Agent 296 is? I believe there was a hint.


	2. The Villian and the Spies

Two chapters in one night? That's impossible! Yet here it is! It may be a week before I update the next chapter so keep your pants on. I don't know why, but I love writing dialogue for the villains!

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The Villain and the Spies (What? I have writer's block!)

Chris Maclean, the bubbly super villain, was unusually angry as he fumed in his "lair." Being one with impeccable taste and an ego bigger than the Milky Way, his chateau, located at the top of a volcano mountain on a lovely Tropical island was nothing short of spectacular. To say it was like Buckingham Palace would be an understatement: it was furnished by priceless pieces of art and furniture (most of them ill-gotten) and pictures of him could be found on almost any surface, on paintings, on chairs, heck, he even has a life size golden statue of him in the lobby. But all this could not calm him down as he sat on a lovely throne-like chair, surrounded by menacing looking guards. In front of him was Heather, a raven haired beauty who was the very epitome of femme fatale.

"Do you have any idea how close we were to getting busted!?" yelled Chris suddenly, Heather's expression however, remained calm as Chris ranted, walking around and flaring his arms like a maniac. _Just let him finish his little tirade, it'll be over before you know __it_, she thought having gone through it before on multiple occasions.

"It's a good thing we found out about that agent before she reported back to HQ!"He turned to Heather, "I thought you said everything was going as planned?"

"It is," she replied with an underlying coldness that was hard to miss.

"Oh, silly me, I forgot that having the International Bureau of Espionage snooping around was part of the plan!" He said obviously sarcastically, "And don't even get me started on the incident with that other agent. Now look here, Heather, one more mess up like that and I'll have to feed you to my little pets here…" he pointed to the glass wall to the right of him that separated the people from vicious looking sharks, "now get back to work, and I suggest that you watch your back, young lady."

_No, you watch your back__ Maclean_. Heather had already turned and was walking towards the doors. Her face was still the same as before but her anger could clearly be sensed from her walking, each step stabbing into the Oriental rug.

Maclean slumped back on his chair, and turned to Hatchet, his hulky head henchman, "remind me again why I employed help like her?"

"You wanted someone cheap," commented a man with a snide air, dressed in the best Italian suit and leather shoes and carrying a heavy looking briefcase, he walked towards the leader. Normally Maclean would be furious that he wasn't alerted that someone was coming but this was an exception.

"Well you get what you pay for, I suppose" he chuckled, "and what about you Noah? Are you worth what I'm paying you?"

"Keep your designer knock offs on, I've got them," he opened the suitcase to reveal a rather dangerous looking gun, "the M79 grenade launcher, these babies are hard to get, especially after the government tightened its firearm restrictions and security at the military weaponry design department. But they don't call me the best for nothing."

Maclean studied the gun very carefully, Noah was well known in the black market to be the best supplier of weapons, but he also had a reputation of being a sneaky little schemer, "Aptly named," he commented.

"I wouldn't try to shoot someone point blank with it though; things could get pretty messy if you know what I mean. Now, let's talk about the matter of payment," he snapped the case shut almost amputating Hatchet's hand in the process, "I've got plenty more of these in stock as well as even better ones, but you're not the only guy here that wants to rule the world or whatever."

"I wouldn't worry about that," Maclean smiled, "but I would worry about rumours of you selling some of us out to the IBE whenever you get caught to skip jail time."

Noah's body went rigid; however, he's been used to these situations before and had trained himself to not show fear, too much. Fortunately for him no one noticed his back stiffening. He began to talk in a practiced calm voice, "my dear Chris, I am a man of honour, how dare you suspect me, good ole honest Noah to cheat you guys out like that. However I do commend you for checking out all suspicions first, a sure sign that we have a genius here." He was not good at flattery, for he has used that line on all his suspicious clients, "just relax and I'll take care of the hard part." With that, he headed towards the door, "I'll be sure to book the next meeting with you when I have the time."

As Noah disappeared from their sights, Maclean spoke calmly, "Hatchet, make sure to tell Eddy to keep an eye out for Noah here…and Heather as well." He turned to leave.

"What about you sir?"

"I'll be paying a little visit to our little miss secret agent."

H lead the group out of the room, into the lab area and after saying hello to a few passing researchers, lead the group to a table with many inventions of top.

"Over here, we have the standard spy watch, complete with three-way communications, mini flashlight and video recording," he paused and added proudly, "I also added a GPS feature on it, so powerful that you can track anyone down that's on the other side of the world." He handed one to each of the three. H proceeded to point to Cody's wristband, "your wristband, Cody is like a mini computer, it can't go on the web but it does have access to IBE's own database. In addition, those sunglasses have a mini camera attached to it, which can enable you to see behind you, magnify things in front of you and see at a great distance, it even has a face focus feature."

"Cool," he said, taking his sunglasses off his head and examining it.

"Geoff, seeing as how you're an actual trained spy," H said with a slight sarcastic tone on the word trained, "you'll receive the explosive gum, and the pen with grappling ability and laser, try not to almost cut your limbs off this time, okay?"

"Big deal, so what do I get?" asked Duncan impatiently.

"You," H said while rummaging through the table, "get these gloves, complete with the newest in advanced adhesive technology, these things are so sticky you can climb up any wall no matter how slippery. As well, you get the stun ring, a bit like an over charged joy buzzer, but with a launcher that can, well, launch the stunner to anything in a 10 metre distance."

"That's it?"

"You also get to drive the Astro Martin Spy car," H remarked almost regrettably, "it has all the bells and whistles you can possibly imagine. Of course all of you will receive some weapon of some kind. We'll need to figure out what Maclean is doing first before we bring out the top artillery."

"And how are we going to do that?" asked Duncan skeptically.

"Chris Maclean is a notorious gambler. Intelligence has found that he will be going to Monte Carlo, for a night or two of gambling. In order to get yourselves invitations to the resort you must beat him in a game of chance. Remember, the fate of the free world may rest in your hands."

"Gee, how motivating," Duncan said blandly, "so, where's our ride?" He jingled the keys to the spy car.

Agent 009, aka Bridgette, had never felt lower in her life. Getting captured was one thing, but to be captured by someone like Chris Maclean's lackeys was downright humiliating. It was just one slight, once in a lifetime slip up, but that little slip up landed her in a diamond barred cage in a high tech lab used by complete idiots.

Bridgette heard a slight creak and instinctively looked at the swinging doors where Chris Maclean now stood.

"Do you expect me to talk, Maclean?"

Maclean just laughed, "If I had a nickel for every time I've heard that..."

"You'll be rich enough to buy some sanity?" finished Bridgette, smugly.

Maclean's face darkened as his team of "scientists" tried in vain to muffle their laughter, "you know, if I was in you're situation, I wouldn't be back talking. Unless you want to experience a horrible death by being eaten alive by sharks or carnivorous woolly beavers."

"Go ahead, I'll rather get eaten alive than listen to you. Why do you even need me? No one knows where I am, and I'm almost completely powerless in this cage."

"Then who will be at a front row seat to watch me become the most powerful man on earth? I mean yeah, all my supporters would, but where's the fun in that?"

"You'll never get away with this!" Bridgette shouted loudly, although in her head she scolded herself for using such a clichéd line.

Chris chuckled and walked right up to her, "who's there to stop me?"


	3. Casino Royale Airplane!

Yes I am back with another chapter, although the TDI group here seems to have waned a little. School's been killing me so it might be a few weeks before the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own TDI. I will not sell my soul for the rights to own TDI. However, you can sell your soul and TDI to me if you want. Also the authour does not encourage excessive gambling so FCC stay away!

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Casino Royale/ Airplane! 

The lights of the casinos of Monte Carlo seemed to shine even more brighter on this particular night, as Duncan, Cody and Geoff, all wearing suave tuxes, entered one of the largest casinos in Monte Carlo. They decided to head for the bar first and sat down as the bartender dried a few glasses.

"Man, this casino is huge, how are we going to find him?" Cody asked scanning the area while sipping on his tropical fruit punch.

"First time here, eh?" the bartender asked, in a distinct prairie accent. What he got in return was two "yeahs" from Cody and Geoff, and an "I have some...history around here" from Duncan.

"Well, don't worry, Monte Carlo is a great place. I moved here from the Canadian prairies a few years back. Now look at me, eh?"

"Yeah, we're actually looking for someone," Cody remarked, careful not to leak too much information.

"Really, maybe I can help."

"No thanks, we're fine," replied Duncan quickly.

"Alright, but if you need any help, just talk to me, eh." The bartender then friendly slapped Geoff on the back a few times. He stopped when a waitress proceeded to come to the bar.

"Another martini for Monsieur Maclean," she spoke in a thick French accent as the trio's ears perked, "shaken, not stirred."

As the waitress carried the drinks over, Duncan, Geoff and Cody followed her, trying their best to look inconspicuous, as the bartender's gaze followed their path.

Chris Maclean, donning what appeared to be a white naval general's suit with golden orange velvet tasselled shoulder pads, was sipping his martini at the blackjack table as three strangers approached him.

"Mr. Chris Maclean, I presume," Duncan asked.

"You've presumed correctly," Maclean answered nonchalantly, "and who the hell are you?"

"I'm Geoff, and that's Duncan and Cody. We'll like three invitations to your resort."

Maclean calmly took another sip, "sorry, but they're for VIPs only."

"What if we gambled for it?"

Maclean's eyes lit up in interest and amusement, "I hope you know that I've never lost at any professional gambling competition before, much less against..."he eyed them carefully, "amateurs."

"Name your game," Geoff said, taking his response as a yes.

"Baccarat," responded Maclean laconically.

"Never heard of it," Geoff replied, a look of confusion growing on his face.

"I told you I should've been the one to challenge him," Duncan whispered to Cody. Cody, however was to busy concentrating at the roulette table next to them.

"Okay...how about Texas Hold'em?" Maclean suggested.

"See, I've heard of it, but I've never actually really know how it works. It's the one with the cards right?"

"How about you pick the game?" asked Maclean, whose patience was growing thin.

"Fine by me," Geoff looked around the nearby tables.

"Pick roulette, challenge him to roulette," Cody said quietly and quickly.

"What?" asked Duncan and Geoff.

"Just pick it!"

"Uh, roulette?" repeated Geoff, unsure.

Maclean smiled a sly, well, smile, "very well then. Whoever wins the most money in an hour wins." He got up and started to head for the roulette wheel. While walking, Cody explained his strategy, "Okay, I've been studying the wheel for a bit and I think I've come up with a way to predict which number will show up."

"You sure about this?" asked Duncan skeptically.

"Yep, all Geoff has to do is bet on the numbers I tell him to bet on."

"Alright, but if he loses, we're blaming you for the destruction of civilization," remarked Duncan calmly as Geoff took a seat by the roulette table, Maclean just seated across from him.

"Place your bets people!" shouted the counter man.

"Alright, here's what you do..."trailed off Cody.

One hour later, Maclean stared in disbelief as he realized that Geoff, although not by a lot, had beaten him.

"Well, it seems that you have," he struggled in admitting defeat, "bested me. Here are your invitations." He practically threw them at the three after he reached into the pocket inside his suit.

"Thanks sir, we look forward to seeing you soon," Duncan remarked with a hint of sarcasm on the sir as he pocketed his invite.

Chris Maclean sat back down on his chair as he watched the trio walk out the door. Suddenly the bartender with the prairie accent started to walk up to him.

"Did you get it?" Maclean asked without even turning around to look at him.

"Yep, it was pretty easy if you slap their backs like friends. He didn't suspect a thing," he pulled out a small badge used by IBE agents for clearance into top secret government facilities. Maclean took the badge from the bartender's hand and studied the name on the badge intently.

"Well, Mr. Geoff, I hope you and your cohorts enjoy your time at the spa. The service is to die for!"

The sky was bright blue speckled with puffy white clouds, a very good sign as Maclean's carrier jet flew towards the island resort, carrying Duncan, Cody, and Geoff, among other people. The jet was no ordinary airplane, it was spacious, comfy with excellent service, and the food didn't taste like plastic. Duncan was sitting next to Cody and tuning out his overly long speech on how his math skills was crucial in saving the world when he eyed a pretty blonde walking down the aisle towards an older man. Seeing as the seatbelt light wasn't on he decided to go investigate, leaving a preoccupied Cody talking to an empty seat. Upon closer inspection one could see an instant family resemblance between the two, although the man seemed to lack the girl's obvious blank and airy look.

"What's a pretty babe like you doing here?" Duncan started, knowing flattery was the best way to coax information out, especially from women.

"My dad's been invited to the resort that belongs to Chip."

"You mean Chris?"

"Yeah, and my dad never goes anywhere without me, so I'm coming along."

"I see," Duncan commented, making an internal note that she was obviously the daddy's little girl type, "and who is your father anyways?"

"He's the ambassador of England."

"Oh so your British?"

"No silly, I'm English."

"Right," Duncan said slowly, knowing that he probably wouldn't be caught in a game of wits with her any time soon. He suddenly noticed the Ambassador out of the corner of his eye, drinking a glass of lemonade.

"Your dad seems to like lemonade."

"Yep, he drinks like a galleon a day," the girl replies. Suddenly the pilot's voice rings from the speakers.

"Ladies and gentleman we are approaching Maclean Island, please take a seat and prepare for landing."

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And the plot thickens and actually starts to go somewhere! I have to admit, I'm not as happy as how this turned out as much as my previous chapters. Still, read and review and have a guess at who our backstabbing bartender and air-headed Ambassador's daughter are. Also please do not think that there is actually a mathematical way of winning at a roulette table. I not legally allowed to gamble yet but I do know that you have to make a prediction before they roll the ball, and thus there is no such fool-proof way to calculate it. This was just for the purpose of the plot.


	4. Not Just A Pretty Face

Yes it's me, back fromthe dead! Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while, but school's been a killer.

Not Just A Pretty Face

Maclean Island, situated somewhere in the South Pacific was a lush, large and lovely tropical island complete with white sandy beaches, green leafy jungles, exotic plants and animals, and to top it off a volcano just to add a sense of danger. The spa itself was built in the main land jungles near the beaches so that the guests could enjoy the sun and surf, that and in case the volcano does erupt, they're at least have a chance of getting off alive.

The plane drooped lower and lower, until it finally can to stop at a landing pad, built off the side of the volcano. There, a safari car was waiting to escort the guests and there luggage down to the resort. Unbeknownst to the ambassador of England, his daughter and the three spies, they were being closely watched on a closed circuit monitor, by Maclean, who was floating in his private pool in his own house. Incidentally, but not surprising the pool was in the shape of his head.

He took a sip from his afternoon martini and glanced at his minions, "Hatchet, Eddy, Heather, why don't you three go and make sure our guests get their proper…spa treatments." He laughed maniacally at his own evil pun, causing his servants to glance at each other worriedly, "well, what are you waiting for? Go!" he shouted, seeing the two guys run out the automatic sliding door, followed by Heather, who just plainly walked out. He signed and his attention drew back to the multiple screens in front of him, each surveying a specific part of the island.

Meanwhile down in the secret lab, Agent 009 was thinking when she heard the doors swish open. Heather walked in, greeted by the "science geeks" that were busy down there.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in," commented Bridgette, a scowl immediately formed on Heather's face, "what are you doing here, you're the last person I'll expect to see in a room full of NASA rejects."

"Hey, NASA didn't reject us, we rejected NASA," stated the only scientist currently in the lab , obviously rattled.

"Yes well I could say the same for you Miss "I'm such a great agent that I actually get caught by someone like Chris Maclean"."

"Cut the witty repartee Heather, and just spit it out."

Heather's eyes narrowed and stared down on Bridgette. Any other person in this situation would immediately start to squirm, Agent 009 didn't even flinch. "We know you contacted someone before you were captured."

This caught Bridgette by surprise, "what, I told you I didn't contact anybody."

"Well, then would you care to explain why there are three spies snooping around?" Heather threw something into the cage and Bridgette immediately knew what it was, an IBE badge belonging to another agent. She looked at the picture, the face seemed oddly familiar, and she swore she'd heard about him before, something about a mission gone wrong in England. Bridgette glanced up at Heather who was smiling smugly, but that was when she noticed the keys and tranquilizer gun strapped to her waist.

"Well?" Asked Heather, impatiently, arms folded and foot tapping.

"What makes you think I'll tell you? I mean, Hatchet maybe but you're nothing but an evil little cow, you can't do anything to me."

"What! Why you… I can make you're life a living hell."

"Really?" questioned Bridgette, raising an eyebrow slightly, "then why don't you come closer and see what you can do? Oh, or are you a chicken too?"

That remark seemed to trigger something inside of heather, for the next thing she knew, she marched up to the cage grabbing a wicked looked wrench from the scientist who was trying to say that walking close wasn't a really good idea. Just as Heather was an arm's length away, Bridgette took the chance and reached out, grabbed onto Heather's necklace and pulled her full force crashing to the side of the cage. Needless to say, Heather was out like a lamp as Bridgette reached for the tranquiliser and quickly shot at the scientist, who was just a few more steps away for the alarm button. Quietly, she took the keys and let herself out, taking the badge with her. She snuck out of the room, but not before tying Heather up and locking her and the scientist in the cage.

Meanwhile, for people who were supposed to be rescuing Bridgette, our three heroes seem to be too relaxed. But, hey, can you blame them? They're at a spa for crying out loud!

"Okay guys, I'll search around the building to see if I can find Bridg- I mean Agent 009, while you two see if there's anything suspicious going around." Geoff told Duncan and Cody, who were currently decked in complementary Maclean Spa bath robes and soaking in the hot tub located along side a pool outside.

"Great idea! I'll check the juice bar to see if they're anything wrong with the freshly squeezed tropical juice," Duncan remarked, reading a spa pamphlet. He got up and headed towards the bar in doors.

"And don't forget to keep an eye out for the Ambassador of England!" shouted Geoff, which in retrospect was a really bad idea considering they were spies who had to keep a low profile.

"Relax, he's in his private massage room right now, I just saw these two spa attendants take him there," Cody said, "anyways I think I'll say here and keep a look out for the free food, I mean, suspicious activities."

Geoff sighed and went in, hoping that they'll straighten up their act soon...but not before grabbing a few finger sandwiches.

At the juice bar, Duncan had just sat down when he saw the British Ambassador walk by, strangely wearing his regular suit, instead of the bath robe, and carry his luggage.

"Mr. Ambassador sir," started Duncan as the bartender gave him his lemonade, "where you think you're going dressed like that?"

"I'm going back to London," replied the Ambassador with a slight monotonous voice.

"What about your daughter?"

"Oh, she'll be fine being alone here, she needs to learn to be more independent, ya' know."

A though suddenly went through Duncan's head, something that the daughter had said earlier on the plane. _My dad never goes anywhere without me_ "Hmm," he stared at him critically, and then remembered something else he had learnt on the plane ride, "would you like a glass of lemonade, sir?"

"No thanks, I hate that stuff."

"Really? Cause on the plane you...OPEN UP!" Duncan quickly lunged at the Ambassador and gave him a quick punch to the face knocking him down. Despite the Ambassador's struggling, Duncan managed to pry his mouth open and poured his whole glass of lemonade in his mouth. The Ambassador staggered backwards, and to Duncan's amazement, electrical sparks were flying from his neck. Suddenly the Ambassador's face melted, revealing a shiny metallic skeleton, complete with frayed wires. The "Ambassador" slumped to the ground uttering nonsensical words and sounds.

"You're a robot!" exclaimed Duncan, perhaps a little to loudly, for the next thing he knew Hatchet and Eddy had turned around a corner, and saw him along with a British twitching robot Ambassador on the floor.

"Hey you!" shouted Eddy, and he and Hatchet ran towards him.

"Uh oh," Duncan ran down the hall.

Geoff was busy examining a room when he heard voices coming down the hall. He hid quickly, just in time to see the door swinging open, with Noah coming in. Noah looked around worriedly, and thinking that no one was around walked over to a ceiling to floor bookcase and pulled and turned a ceramic Chris Maclean bookstand. Suddenly the bookcase swung open, revealing a secret hallway. Noah climbed in, looked back to see if anyone was following him and closed the shelf. Waiting for a few minutes, Geoff then followed and walked into the hallway. Actually it would be better to call in a tunnel, as all the sides were rocky and the only light available came from bolted torches. It did make sense, Geoff thought, since the whole building is in a volcano. He stopped unexpectedly, as the hallway before him diverged into two different hallways. Contemplating on which way to go, he suddenly heard voices coming from down one of the hallways and quickly followed. Walking down he finally stopped at a dead end, and noticed that there were stone steps that lead up to a metal grate. He climbed the stairs and strained to see what was going on without lifting the grate and be noticed. He saw that it was Maclean's private office, and sitting in front of his desk was a man with a hook for one hand. Although he looked brutish and large, he showed a little fear sitting before Maclean, who had just come off from talking to someone on his gold plated phone.

"Well you better find him soon!" Maclean said before he slammed the receiver down. He stared daggers into the hook-handed man, "well Professor Tchochkie, it seems that your robots are malfunctioning again!"

"If you just give me more time..."

"Silence! This is an absolute failure! Time is money you know, and I need my plan to be finished preparation soon!"

"You're a mad man with dreams of a lemonade proof robot!" shouted Tchochkie. That seemed to be a deadly mistake, because Maclean quickly pressed a button on under his desk and the professor fell down a hole beneath him, screaming all the way.

"Professor Tchochkie meet man-eating sharks, man-eating sharks meet Prof Tchochkie." In the side of the office that was completely filled with an aquarium one could see the Prof appearing there, via a tube and pounding on the tempered glass, as the sharks swam closer and closer.

"Good-bye Professor, I'll weep for you," Maclean said as he walked down the steps of his risen desk. He turned to a nearby mercenary, "Tyler! Make sure you see to it that the glass of the aquarium gets cleaned as soon as possible, the last thing I want in my office are those tough to get out blood stains."

Geoff ran as fast as he could, one, because he did not want to stay and see the show that was going to start with the sharks, and two, to find out Maclean's plot and to tell his partners before they get caught. However, while running he bumped into a mercenary and seeing as how even Geoff wasn't stupid enough to fist fight with a heavily armed gunman ran even faster, trying to dodge the oncoming bullets. Luckily, or maybe not, as he ran to the part when the hallway divided into two, a hidden door miraculously opened and an arm pulled Geoff in roughly, closing just in time for the mercenary to not see it, and kept running.

---------------------------------------------

Questions You Might aSK yOURSELF:

1) What the heck happened in England and Geoff's mission gone horribly wrong?

-I actually have no idea myself. There's not much of a backstory to it, t's moreso a running gag. Come to think of it England is mentioned a lot in this thing

2) How do you pronounce Prof. Tchochkie's name?

-Simple, "Thots-key" Funny story "Tchochke" is yiddish for knick knacks or toys. :)

3) Who is the mysterous person that "rescues" Geoff?

- I didn't really give any clues, but I think you guys are smart enough and have seen enough movies to guess.

Read and Review Please!


	5. From Wawanakwa With Love

Yes! It is me, back from the dead. I've tried to update, I really did and thanks to some guilt tripping by one TheUnspokenArtist, here it is, the next chapter to this story. I made a promise to myself to update this or Totally Dramatic Rat Race before starting any new things (the Musician In The Grass had been floating in my head for a while, I actually have most of the beginning written in my head!)

I don't like this chapter as much as the rest, it was one of those, roadblock chapters that you know that after you write it, everything else will be smooth running. Anyone else had that problem? You have this plot ready but there's this particular chapter that you know you have to write but aren't sure how to write it?

Still I hope you enjoy this chapter, the rest of the story should be flowing out soon as well as other updates. I have been really busy, but I'll try to update more.

Disclaimer: I do not own TDI nor any of the movies mentioned below, if I did I wouldn't be working my butt off trying to get a great education so I can have a great, well-paying job.

--

From Wawanakwa With Love

"Where'd he go?!" shouted Hatchet as he and Eddy, carrying shotguns, rounded a corner, only to find, well nothing there.

"I told you he turned a left at the gift shop instead of a right! But noooo, you said you were the boss and that we're going right," Eddy sighed, " Maclean ain't gonna like this but we so have to tell him. Wanna grab a bite first?"

"Amen to that brother," and the two henchmen walked off.

"You know, I just realized it's been a while since we heard Heather complain."

"Yeah, thank you God!"

As Hatchet and Eddy's voices slowly sounded farther away, Duncan climbed down from the overhanging beams covered with hanging gardens and vines. Checking to make sure no one was there he quickly ran towards the outdoor pool to Cody, who was currently trying to get a tan and impress some girls in the process. He was failing at both.

"Psst! Cody, over here!" Duncan whispered from a nearby bush. Luckily Cody managed to hear him and walked over, while really exaggerating his innocence.

"Duncan? What are you doing in a bush? Hiding?"

"No, I just decided to take up a hobby of plant inspecting. Of course I'm hiding! Two of Maclean's goonies, found me after I found out that the Ambassador's been turned into a robot!"

A look of confusion and shock grew on Cody's face, "the Ambassador's been turned into a robot?"

"Impersonated by, turned into, whatever. What we have to do now is find out where the real Ambassador is, and how many of those robots are out there," Duncan stopped suddenly when he spotted Hatchet and Eddy coming out of the building towards the pool, "shoot, gotta run now. But try to find out more about this plot of Maclean's okay. Hopefully you'll have better luck investigating than scoring with the ladies." His ducked his head back into the bush and snuck out, leaving Cody with a very vague instruction.

--

Meanwhile, somewhere up the volcano, but somehow underground…

"Bridgette! I mean, uh, Agent 009, what are you doing here?" Geoff, although safe from the mercenaries was quickly fumbling with his words.

"Rescuing you, apparently," she replied in such a general tone that Geoff couldn't make sure if she was mocking him or joking around with him.

"Thanks…for rescuing me, I mean," Geoff started again, "isn't it funny? I was the one that was supposed to rescue you, not that you're the type of person who needs rescuing, of course. Actually I was supposed to find out what Chris Maclean was up to really but still…I mean since you were in trouble I thought maybe I should help you…I mean not maybe help you, definitely help you. I'm not the kind to value a mission more than someone's life. I just…" He took a deep breath and decided to end his rambling before he embarrassed himself even more. "How did you know I was here?"

"Your badge kinda helped," Bridgette quickly gave him back his badge and explained everything as the two continued to walk along the dark, wet, rocky corridor. There had been an awkward silence afterwards, though Geoff quickly ended it when he started talking about Duncan, Cody and everything he's just seen.

"So this plot of Maclean has something to do with robots?" Bridgette asked, after hearing Geoff's story she was slightly impressed. Even she had not managed to come this far into solving Maclean's plan, then again, she thought, it could have just been plain luck.

"I think so, I'm going to have to check with Duncan and Cody to see what they found out." As if by sheer coincidence, Geoff's watch/ communicator started ringing, it was Duncan.

"Duncan? Is that you?"

"Geoff! Thank God I managed to get through this time. Where were you? I tried calling but all I got was static."

"Some secret underground tunnel system. I found Agent 009, or I should say she found me."

"That's great, but right now I have something important I need to tell you. You know the British Ambassador that was on our plane? Well, something happened to him, and he was being impersonated by a robot, until I shoved lemonade down his, I mean, its throat…"

"Of course, everything makes sense! The spa for political figures, Prof. Tchochkie's robotics plan, Maclean is replacing everyone with robots!"

"And the citrus from the lemonade must short-circuit the robots!' Bridgette added excitedly, she quickly grabbed Geoff's hand to talk to Duncan more directly, oblivious to the fact that the sudden contact made Geoff's cheeks turn slightly red, "Duncan, does anyone know that we know about this?"

"That's the bad part, Hatchet and Eddy are on my tail, I 'm currently hiding in a utility closet, and I have no idea how much longer I can hold out." Suddenly, they heard the door creak in the background, followed by a few yells from Duncan, some anonymous men and finally static.

"Duncan, Duncan? Dang it, we've lost him, I'm going to try reaching Cody." Geoff fiddled with his watch a bit and after a few anxious moments finally connected with Cody.

"Hello? You've reached the Codmeister" asked Cody, acting as if his watch was a telephone and anyone could phone him.

"Cody, this is Geoff, Agent 009's with me right now…"

"Right on dude!"

"Yes that's great but now I've lost Duncan, I think he's been captured."

"I'll try to look for him by hacking into the security system here," Cody suggested in a worried tone, "I'm in the control center right now, but these security codes are murder. But I'll try my best. "He shut off his watch, leaving Bridgette and Geoff alone again. Another awkward silence soon followed.

"Well, we better get going, Maclean's obviously looking for us now and we have to try and find out what he's up to," Bridgette said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah," Geoff said, and after thinking for a few moments started talking again, "Listen, Bridgette, I know we haven't been really close during our time at the Academy, but I've always admired your dedication..." _This was it_ he thought, his big chance for a big kiss before the big fight. Nothing stood between him and his dream girl (except for mind numbing fear of rejection 

or getting his ass-kicked.) "Anyways, after all this time," he took a big breath, "I think I lov-" He was cut short however when suddenly out of nowhere, he felt something crash against his head, and just before blacking out, he heard Bridgette say weakly and in an annoyed tone:

"Not again..."

--

"Geoff, Geoff, wake up! Geoff, come on, don't quit on me now!" An angelic voice kept ringing through Geoff's head while he started waking up again, his vision getting a little less blurry a little at a time.

"Ugh, where am I?" Suddenly he realized that the voice belonged to Bridgette, and she was currently tied up in a chair right beside him. He too was tied to a chair, "Bridge, you alright?"

"I'm fine, I've been in these situations before unfortunately."

"What were we hit with?"

"Ah the fire extinguisher, a classic, but it still works!" The two agents followed the sound of the voice, eyes trailing to a sky box that was located at the top of the wall facing them. Chris Maclean, in all his villainy glory, was sitting in a throne-like chair (of course) grinning evilly (of course) and petting a beaver that was lying on his lap (need I say of course again?) Hatchet and Eddy stood beside him on both sides, while Heather, who was now sporting a bandaged head and an arm sling stood further on one side.  
"So," he said through a microphone connected to a loudspeaker outside the sky box, "Did you actually think you could escape my clutches?"

"Actually yeah," Bridgette replied, as if it was the most obvious answer. Geoff meanwhile whistled, clearly impressed.

"Wow, your own sky box? That is neat! And is your chair made of actually red velvet?"

"So glad you noticed! Yeah it is, real soft material, and the wooden arm rest? Real mahogany."

"Nice..." Geoff said, completely obviously to Bridgette's eye roll.

"Yeah, just having good looks," he flashed his pearly whites, "don't cut it any more in the super villain world. You've got to have the stuff to back you up too."

"I hear that," Geoff said. Finally, Bridgette, though tied up, managed to jab him in the ribs, a silent demand to focus on the important topic right now and not about fancy furniture.

"Anyways, I guess you're going to tell me what you think my evil plans are?" Chris said, still stroking his lap beaver.

"Actually no. I mean you're going to tell us anyways so why waste time?" Geoff said, Bridgette nodding her head in agreement.

Chris, who had not anticipated that answer, merely cleared his throat and said, "well, then I guess I'll tell you right now. Behold! My evil plot! After being unceremoniously denied at my request to clean (and later secretly steal) the Crown Jewels, I swore revenge on those monarchs. And what better way to get revenge than to kidnap political figures, and replace them with robots. Robots, who will later at the UN gala tonight, destroy the head of their respective country and crown me as their king! Ha, take that society!" He paused, waiting to see everyone's reaction. Bridgette and Geoff were silent, Heather was busy filing her nails (which was admittedly hard since one arm was in a sling) and Hatchet and Eddy were playing Go Fish.

"What's the matter with you people! I just told you my evil scheme!" He shouted into the microphone.

"Well," Bridgette started, "The thing is, it's kinda unoriginal, I mean, replacing people with robots? Been there, done that."

"And the whole taking over the world and revenge thing? Dude, I thought you could come up with something better," Geoff added.

"You know for once I actually have to agree with them," Heather said, 'and it's not a pretty fool proof plan either. I mean robots? Seriously, what if they start to revolt and we lose control of them. Geeze"

"Oh come on, name one thing that ever showed robots turning on their creators," Chris said, desperately trying to save a little dignity.

"How about The Terminator movies?"

"Or I, Robot."

"Or..."

"Okay! I get it! Sheesh, give a guy a break will you! Okay, so maybe I stole the idea from this book I was reading but even so, you can't stop me...caused you'll be dead!" He started to laugh maniacally.

"So I guess you'll be throwing us into your tank of man-eating sharks huh?"

"No, why would I do that. You two are my arch nemeisises...nemeisi,...enemies, I have to get rid of you in an extravagant, classy way."

"You know what's classy? Letting us go." Bridgette said, hoping that Chris Maclean was a gullible as he was dumb.

"Um, let's see...NO!" Guess not.

"You might be able to get rid of us, but I'll have you know, there are two other highly trained agents here and they're gonna...Ow!" Geoff was jabbed again by Bridgette and he realized his mistake, "I mean, we're the only agents here, so now that we've been captured you can lower your security...I am so gonna get demoted if I make it outta here aren't I?"

"Oh, you mean these two highly trained agents that 'aren't here'?" He snapped his fingers robot replicas of the Prime Minister of Pakistan and the Vice President of the USA came in, one carrying a bound Duncan, and one carrying a bound Cody.

"Oh, come on!" Geoff shouted, this day was just getting worse and worse as Cody and Duncan were thrown on the floor, rather roughly.

"Well, I'll love to say and chat but I have a UN gala to go to, I'm sure you would love to go but I'm pretty sure you'll be too busy getting torn to shreds but my woolly beavers. Heck of a lot of money needed to feed and groom them but they are definitely worth it!" The building started to rumble and the 'sky box' that Maclean and his henchmen (and women) were in came off, revealing that it was actually the box attached to a giant blimp.

"Okay, you have to admit that that was cool," Geoff said to Bridgette, the awesomeness of the blimp was instantly gone, when all four agents heard a low grumble coming from the other side of an opening caged door.

"Oh, crap," was all the four agents could say.

--

Sorry to leave you in this slight cliff hanger, but I was feeling a bit evil today (smirks). I'll try to update, but I am the self-declared worst updater of all time! It's a habit I'm trying to break though.

Also, if anyone would care, I also have an account on Deviantart, (I'm ASFREG over there) There's nothing on there that's not on here, but I will be updating my journal later tonight so if you want to see the Update Of My Life (which, seeing as unlike me you all have a social life, you won't) check over there tomorrow. Also it has some other TDI fanfictions, as well as fan art. TheUnspokenArtist has two accounts there (a banned one "TheUnspokenArtist" and a new one "Rainbowz-and-stuffz") and you should check out her artwork, (the Chibis are soo cute!).

So that's the end of that long author's note from the worst updater ever! Please leave a review, I live on them! (Also, all flames will be thrown at Heather) but that isn't an excuse to flame me!


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